Updated: Mar 10
When my wife and I were newlyweds, we move from one apartment to another. Our shower curtain didn’t match the new bathroom and we shopped for one that matched. After an unbearable length of searching my wife narrowed the possibilities to two. One clear with the correct color scheme and an opaque one with the same color but a different pattern. “Which should we get?” as if I had any say in decorating the house.
“Get the opaque one.”
“Because it makes it easier to sneak up on you while showering.”
Her eyes rolled to the back of the head, crisscrossed and trolled forward in amusement and anger. Then the demure voice from a young woman searching towels next to us, “Why do men do that?” That question popped into my head every so often and I thought of it for twenty-five years.
My vague summation formulates that men have a primitive necessity to face danger. This primeval desire causes us to drive too fast, face angry bulls in an arena, and sneak up on our wives while they shower deep in thought. Any of these actions may cause death if we are not careful. These dangerous endeavors require careful planning, timing, and execution or leave us worse for wear. I hope this answers one question wives have had in the thousands of years of men teasing their wives.
Did I mention my dog is a Karen? A winter’s cold came over me last weekend. It got me out of Saturday shopping with my wife. So, my daughter took her shopping. The two left at ten in the morning but took fifteen minutes to deice the car. Ginger whined at the window as the car warmed up as the ice melts from the windshield. Then she wanted out to see them clearly and banged the bell. However, the house impaired her view. Two minutes later, she banged and barked to come back in. After another few minutes of crying at the window, the car rolled out of the drive.
Ginger came to me with her whiniest Karen expression and the look she gave me told of her displeasure with her human sister and mother leaving without her.
“You know, if you could behave in the car, they would take you with them,” in a snarky tone.
Ginger turned away from me with the low guttural moan for my honest but unwarranted comment. A thud came from the living room with more groans of annoyance over being left at home and my comment offending our resident Karen as she dropped for a nap.
Learn more about me at my website: www.dannymacauthor.com