Not-So-Good Advice

Younger Me

Hello to all,

I was thinking about writing an advice book referencing my bachelor years, so that young men today may learn my cheat codes for living single. I got married at thirty-five and learned many techniques to keep a household looking clean with minimal effort.

A female coworker asked me once if I separated my clothes. I explained that there are three baskets in my bedroom. One for clean clothes, one for clothes that need washing, and one for gently worn that can be worn again. She walked away, slowly shaking her head in crushing disappointment, not-so-good advice.

A girl came to my pad and saw my clean kitchen. She marveled at how tidy it looked and complimented me on it. I hoped that she didn’t look under the sink to see a half stack of rinsed plates and its accompanying flatware. When the stack became complete, I would wash the entire stack. Despite her admiration for my housekeeping, we broke up shortly afterwards, not-so-good advice.

I drank longneck beers and stored the bottle caps in the drawer with the church key. On garbage day, they were collected and thrown into the trash. After marrying my wife, they magically disappeared from the drawer until my bride yelled at me to stop it. To this day, my hand still wants to drop the cap into the drawer while putting the opener back, not-so-good advice.

On second thought, maybe it's not-so-good advice after all, because the more civilized sex considers my bachelor efforts as lacking or disgusting. If I wrote this book, a hundred years later, young married women would still be spitting on my grave for all the bad habits their man brought into the marriage. The blame would be placed directly on my shoulders even if their husband hadn’t read my book. The Bible instructs us older men to teach the younger men properly and not fill their heads with not-so-good advice.

He Has Risen,

Danny Mac