My Dog is a Karen – Tries to Fire Me
The chief cook and head bottle washer prepared dinner as usual on a gloomy Monday evening. As I moved from counter to sink and back again, our four-legged Karen pushed in to give her opinion on my progress. “Yipe,” went the dog in a painful screech. I stumble, after stepping on her toe, trying to maintain my balance while trying not to spill a pot of water for the potatoes.
“UGG!” shouts out of my mouth. “Get out of the kitchen!” in a no-nonsense tone.
Ginger slunk away with her tail between her legs. Grumbling to myself, I heard her slog up the stairs like a petulant child. My heart rate slowly returned to normal as the cubes of future mashed potatoes entered the soaking water. Two potatoes complete when our dog pranced into the kitchen like a Lipizzaner show horse performing for the blue ribbon. The self-assured grin on her face exclaimed, “You are in trouble now.”
Mom followed two steps behind the confident Karen strutting her stuff. That’s right folks, she complained to the manager in order to see me fired. With a smirk of superiority splashed on her face, she scrutinized the termination of the contemptible worker before her.
“What happened?” quizzically came from my wife’s mouth.
“She nearly tripped me carrying a pot of water and nearly broke my neck,” exaggerated came out while cubing the last potato.
“She came upstairs and sat on the bed with low moans and groans against you. If I didn’t know better, she was cussing at you. When I asked her if I should talk with you, she jumped off the bed and paraded back down.”
“So, am I fired?”
“No, I am not cooking. Tell her to stay out of the kitchen.”
“Get your furry butt out of the kitchen.” Ginger crept away into the living room. I stared in disbelief at my wife for a moment when we heard the continued long steady moan of unappreciated complaints coming from the sofa.
“Arrg!” I stated in desperation.
“Think of the bright side, you have your Karen story for this week,” smiling at the outlandish behavior of our entitled dog.
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Merry Christmas and God bless,