My Dog is a Karen – Staying Fit
The other day my wife and I walked through the park. A gray-chinned dog that possessed a little more weight than ideal plodded toward us. This rounded hound lazily lumbered along the walking path with little energy. We stopped and gave her some loving because every good dog procures doting from dog people. Her tail wagged frantically as we scratched her head and rubbed her ears.
“A little chubby wasn’t she,” I noticed out loud after clearing earshot.
“Yes, but she is old, and old dogs like old people tend to put on the pounds. It is amazing Ginger hasn’t added to her weight since she will be ten soon.”
“Ginger is a karen and it is her karenness that keeps her at a healthy weight. It’s not easy being a karen all day long.”
The boss of the house nodded in agreement while chuckling at her wild dog.
The next morning Ginger waited impatiently for her banana snack from mom’s breakfast. A little drool seeped from her lips as the body language clearly stated, “You are taking soooooo long.”
“Hey Ginger, is that your nose or are you eating a banana?” sing-sang the old joke from my mouth.
Oh the look from Ginger, the look stated, “Are you calling my nose big.”
Mom laughs as our karen burns holes in me as I reply, “It must be, and you are constantly sticking it into other people's business.” Ginger gave me the cold furry shoulder for the rest of the morning. Well, at least until she wanted out again, and again, and again for it was a warm and sunny day.
During a typical day, Ginger sleeps on the couch, our bed, or the sunny section of the kitchen floor. At least once an hour she crawls out of her slumber, meanders to the front windows, and checks for the neighbor. If they are present, she greets them with a torrent of howls, barks, and screeches. If nothing appears immoral according to her sensibilities, then she groans and returns to her time-consuming napping.
Needless to say, we deal with this several times a day with Ginger going karen because the neighbors have the audacity to walk out of their house and perform duties in their yard. This assault on Ginger’s feelings garners loud retribution while racing from the family room to the living room several times with great speed. Their malicious behavior to provoke such a response include walking to their car to go somewhere, walking to get the mail, and walking their dog.
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