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Writer's pictureDaniel MacPherson

My Dog is a Karen – Pre-Christmas Complaints


Hello everyone,


Beginning the first week of September my wife asked me how to arrange the living room to hold the Christmas tree and still have room for the five to fifteen people attending Small Group. I, being her ever-caring husband for over twenty-eight years, answered diligently, “We’ll figure it out.” The question appeared more frequently as Thanksgiving approached because she decorates the Friday after it instead of facing the hordes of frenzy shoppers seeking specials of the Black Friday sales.


This past Wednesday started without the lingering question but she pulled chairs, sofas, and coffee tables out of the gathering room. My daughter mistakenly entered the living room and was voluntold to help. As I butchered another new chapter in my next still unnamed next book, “Honey, I need your opinion,” brought me into the fray and the three of us worked well past lunch arranging and rearranging the living room in order to fit the Christmas tree into the mix while leaving space for other decorations and people for the study.


However, mom started all this without our resident Karen granting permission. Ginger found a spot on the couch shoved up against the closet out of the way to show his discontent with the unauthorized changes. In her best Queen Karen pose, she viewed the reckless disregard for her input with disdain and contempt.


We moved the couch to three different locations until we found the perfect fit to meet mom’s need to decorate for Christmas and still fill the room with loving hearts learning Romans. Each reposition of the three-person sofa came with removing Queen Karen from her perch. Each dethroning came with moans and groans of dissatisfaction for having to relocate and the whole operation of the reorganization.


The final positioning of the room put the couch in the front window blocking her view of the outside world where she acts like Ralphie in A Christmas Story protecting her family from Black Bart. Grumbles abound until she discovered she obtains a better view by jumping onto the back of the couch and all was right in the world. As the day progressed, Ginger found a spot on a couch and slept the afternoon away after a strenuous morning of complaining about our injustice to her royal stature.


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God bless,

Danny Mac

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