Recently while watching television, I saw a commercial for a dating site. It showed young people sharing dinner, frolicking in the park, and several more romantic clichés of dating. This is the vision pushed by society since I was young that love is all about getting to know the other person.
When I wore a younger man’s clothes, I managed a pizza restaurant. One slow afternoon while waiting tables a couple came in. Just after sitting, the man announced, “We celebrated fifty years of marriage last week. I was twenty-two and she was sixteen when her daddy caught us. Her daddy gave me the option of the preacher or the judge. I found out later the judge would have only given me seven years.”
With a nervous Chuckle, I stepped back waiting for the fight. I watched the old woman roll her eyes and then ordered a sweet tea. I enjoyed waiting on the couple and later that evening I thought about the encounter. This was not the first time she heard that joke. If she heard this joke after every anniversary for the past fifty years, it would not surprise me. Her face told she also knew he loved her and wouldn’t leave because of it and the vow he made to her.
The second idea popping into my single brain was I wanted to be that old man picking on his old wife after many years of marriage. This perspective of looking for a mate I can annoy for the rest of my life changed how I saw women. After a few dates, I tried to reason and pictured myself treating her like this old man loved his wife.
It took me until thirty-five years old, but I found the woman to grow old together. That was twenty seven year ago, and yes I do pick on her and yes she rolls her eyes at me. Sometimes it surprises me that they don’t fall out from the speed of the roll. I hoped to have another twenty or thirty years of eye rolls coming from her.
Did I mention, my dog is a Karen? When Ginger was still a pup, we took her to obedience training. Marty, the dog whisperer, told us, “Do not be afraid of stepping on her paws. She will learn to stay out of the way.”
This suggestion works on most dogs, but we have a Karen. A Karen has to be the center of attention and personally involved in everything. They have something to say on any subject whether they have knowledge of it or not. This includes anyone cooking in the kitchen, Ginger is underfoot. I first thought she wasn’t very bright because we stepped on her paws a lot. Then I heard about Karens and now I understand she is an entitled dog.
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