Today, we celebrate the eve of Christmas, a time of joy and celebration. To everyone reading my blog, I pray you find the love of God in your heart and it inspires you to share with the world in everything you do and say. Here are four jokes to brighten your day.
1. Sally wakes on the first Christmas with Bob. She descends the steps with the giddiness of a young girl awaiting presents under the tree. However, she finds nothing but a single envelop taped to the mantle of the fireplace. Upon opening it, she discovers a deed describing a section on land. Confusion comes across her face, “What is this?”
Bob smiles gently, “Your Christmas wish list was to receive a lot.”
2. A young father calls me mid-December, “My three boys got into their gifts. What should I do?”
“Lock them in the attic.”
“I tried that, but they started crying about the cold and darkness.”
3. An elderly woman rummaging through the frozen turkeys becomes frustrated. Turning to the nearest stocker, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?
“No mam, they're dead.”
4. Mike with excitement to Mitch, “I shot my first turkey yesterday.”
“That’s cool, how was it?”
“Great, except it scared everyone in the frozen food aisle.”
Ginger follows me to the upright freezer which is by her door. I remove the choice cut of meat for the evening’s meal and realize she has not been out in a while. “Ginger, do you want out?” She runs away.
Did I mention, my dog is a Karen? It takes less than two minutes of me returning to the kitchen and the clank of her bell resonates throughout the house. I march down to let her out. Not a minute after returning to the kitchen, she begins knocking at the door with a terse “ARRPH” after it. Looking out the window, I see the rainy slushy snow falling and realize why she waited so long to go out. Of course, she greets me with her patented Karen stare of, “What took so long.” She runs upstairs to complain to mom, the perceived manager.
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