Broken Dreams and Reality

Jake’s long blink opened to a flash of blinding light, and then red taillights whirled in front of him. The sound of metal crumbling scared his ears as a final bright light blinded him, and then everything went dark as death.

In the blackness, faint beeps and mummers echoed in his dreams, sounding like a life no longer his reality. He awoke to a stark white room with no walls, floors, or ceiling. A man appeared next to him without distinction or purpose.

The soft baritone voice spoke calmly, “So Jake, you want to know what your life would be like if you followed your dreams of becoming a professional football player over being an engineer with a loving family. Despite having a wife who has loved you for twenty-five years, a son already established in his IT career, admiring his old man, and a daughter who cannot find a man as good as her dad. You want to know how your life would have turned out if you hadn’t completed your engineering degree and pursued football as a career.”

Jake stood in silence as the man changed the scenery to his college gym. He could see himself at age twenty running laps around the basketball court early on a frosty winter morning. Then he skipped class to focus on weightlifting, which increased his strength. The final scene saw him doing wind sprints, improving his speed with every run.

The next scene saw him walking into a tryout for his hometown team. After two grueling weeks of cardio-staining workouts, hours of playbook studies, and intense teamwork activities, he received a contract for the upcoming preseason. He was one of ninety players who could call themselves a Cleveland Brown.

The next scene saw him marrying Gail, whom he met the month before in Las Vegas. As they settled into married life, his workdays went from six in the morning until eight at night as he struggled to comprehend all that it took to play football at the highest level. His love for the game kept him pushing through all the difficulties despite the growing turmoil at home.

Happiness filled his heart when he received another contract to join the fifty-three-man roster. The team listed him as a third-string safety and a first-string special teams member. He ran as a gunner on punts and kickoffs, while blocking for returns. In his first season, he recorded twenty-five tackles and one pass breakup. The season ended the first week of January. His marriage lasted until the second week before she filed for divorce and moved back to Las Vegas.

Jake played for five years before wrenching his knee, which ended his career as a backup and third-string safety. He kept a video compilation of moments when the TV announcers mentioned his name. Through his playing years, he bought a lovely home in the suburbs, a Cadillac Escalade, and enjoyed the finer things in life. He saved five million in a portfolio for future needs.

After football, his life went empty: no wife, no family, no camaraderie with other players, coaches, and behind-the-scenes personnel. Single malt scotch became his best friend as those lingering on his coattails left for current players. He married Angela, who liked the bottle as much as he did. They remained married long enough to have a son, whom they named David after her father. One day, Angela was gone.

Jake tried to divorce the bottle, but depression settled into his life each time he tried. His trim physique slowly morphed into a 250-pound alcoholic. He met Carol at a bar one night. She was slightly older but seemed to have a good heart. They married after a short romance. She stayed for two years, raising David, while Jake went out drinking every night. After two years of neglect, she filed for divorce, taking David with her. He gave up his son with a large settlement to go back into his bottle.

The drunken years passed by, and Jake supplemented the scotch with pills to keep him steady. Then, he started taking other drugs to help him sleep at night. His colonial home was mortgaged for cash when his savings ran out. He called old teammates, hoping to get another loan, but they turned their backs on him. LeGarrette offered to pay for a clinic where he could get off the booze and pills, but Jake cussed at him and ended the call.

Then the news came that David was graduating from high school. This gave Jake hope of reconnecting with his long-lost son. He showed up at the ceremony in a rented Mustang he couldn’t afford. David agreed to a ride, and they drove through the town like teenagers in a binder. Jake brought out a flask of the cheapest swill he could afford and shared it with his newly connected son.

At eight, they stopped and bought another bottle of whiskey that David shelled out twenty dollars for to keep the party going. It was just after midnight when the overpowered Mustang reached its full RPMs. They wanted the car to make the quarter mile under six seconds.

At the five-second mark, a car with teenage girls pulled into the street in front of the racing Mustang. The unsuspecting car spun around in front of the Mustang after the collision. The Mustang just veered into a tree when everything went silent.

Stuttering, “Is this the life of a professional football player?” Jake asked with a trembling heart.

“No,” the man quietly announced. “This is how your life turned out by choosing football over engineering. Other players did quite well for themselves. You turned your life into this nightmare.”

“How do I get back to my wife and kids?” as tears ran down Jake's face. “Will I ever see them again?”

The man tilted his head and then disappeared.

The room without walls went dark as the beeping got louder—a steady beep, and then a second later, another beep. A light orange-red glow appeared in the distance and grew brighter as he woke. Jake woke up to a doctor’s lamp shining down on him. His left arm felt numb, and he reached with his right hand to block the blinding light. A clank stopped his hand from reaching up. He tried again, only to realize it was a handcuff holding him to the hospital bed.

A police officer leaned over him and asked, “Jake, are you awake?”

Jake tried to speak, but the tubes running down his throat stopped him from speaking.

The officer continued with authority, “You have the right to remain silent,” and Jake’s mind went blank.

“Don’t try to speak, and don't say anything until you speak with your lawyer. You are under arrest for driving while intoxicated, contributing to a minor, and vehicular homicide of three people. Both girls in the car you hit died when you crashed into them. Your son, David, died instantly when you hit the tree while going over a hundred miles per hour. You never touch the brakes.”

The beeping was the only thing that interrupted the silence. Then the officer added, “I was in high school when you played for the Browns. I looked up to you as a hero for playing professional football from a small town. What happened to you?”

It was then that Jake realized his true dream was a loving family. He pictured it when he was eighteen, and he thought about it over the past few months. His reality chained him to the bed.